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ODDBINS' ALTERNATIVE POLLS

What we are about to say does not come naturally for us, so you’ll have to imagine us mumbling it petulantly through gritted teeth, but… we think UK politics has never been so exciting. They’re clearly still a bunch of obsequious scoundrels, but boy is it nice to have some more options on the table. We’re not saying we want an Italian-style system, with eight major parties with names like Left Ecology Freedom, but anything that challenges the two party monopoly is surely a good thing.

Swingometer Alternative Polls

How things will play out on May 7 is now the question on everyone’s lips. But wouldn’t it be nice if you could put that question, quite literally, on your lips? Well, like a vinous version of Cilla Black’s Surprise Surprise, we are going to make your wish come true. This weekend (April 25/26) we will be turning our shops into make-shift polling stations for a pre-election election. We will be putting five reds from the Rhône Valley on blind tasting, with each wine representing one of the five main political parties. What you – the voter – have to do is sip the wines, cogitate and put a cross on the ballot paper against your preferred wine. We will then reveal the wines’ affiliated parties and declare the winner of Oddbins’ Alternative Polls. If we call it right, then Peter Snow officially has to give us his Swingometer.

Alternative Polls Ballot Paper

But why the Rhône Valley? Well, a number of reasons. Like our newly diverse political landscape, this thin strip of a wine region has a surprising amount of choice. That’s because as well as being thin, it spans a considerable distance, giving it a range of climates and, consequently, wine styles. Modern winemaking techniques and a move away from heavily oaked and over-extracted styles means that the varying characters are expressed very eloquently. OK maybe that’s where they differ from the party candidates. Also, although it is famed for the big names like Côte Rôtie and Châteauneuf du Pape – the Labour and Conservatives of the Rhône – you can get excellent value for money from Rhône’s smaller ‘parties’, such as Lirac, Vacqueyras and the broader appellations of Côtes du Rhône and Côtes du Rhône Villages.

Our alternative candidates include a big showstopper name in there – but with no spin doctors in sight to gild and coif the candidates, how will it fare against other Rhônes? We’ve put a cork in our candidates’ mouths – now it’s time to see who has the bottle.