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Para todo mal, vino, y para todo bien también

¡Hola! ¿Cómo está? Mi nombre es Pepita. Lo siento, I forget that I live in the UK now. I try to stick to English. Welcome to my guest blog for the Oddbins. Let me introduce myself. My name is Pepita. You might remember me from a video these nice Oddbins people make, no the one with the sexy Valentine lady, the one with the sexy Christmas penguin [see both videos below - Ed]. That was me; I’m a penguin from the city of Ciudad Juarez in Mexico. Mi madre, a fat, kind penguin called Pumpkin, she moved to the state of Chihuahua because she loved the little handbag dog. Anyway mi madre, she was so sad to find that there were no Chihuahuas in Chihuahua, but she stay there and start a family all the same.

When I was born, she call me Pepita. This is Mexican name for a pumpkin seed. But I am not like a pumpkin seed because I no like being roasted in hot, hot Mexico. Did you seeing the African penguins on that Africa programme with the nice Mister Attenborough man? Then you know what I talking about. So I save up all my pesos and jump on British Airways flight to see what this place London is being all about. They were going to make documentary of my journey, Flight of the Penguins, but Morgan Freeman – hombre estúpido – was filming The Dark Night Rises so it was not to be. Film was no good anyway because Batman has no penguins anymore. ¿Que no?

I move to Hackney because there are plenty mezcal bars near here and of course for los Juegos Olímpicos. Did you ever see anything so good as El Tricolor winning the gold medal? It was lucky we win the football because almost all our other medals come from the ladies. Hombres perezosos Mexicanos. Anyway, maybe you miss this because you were busy with Jessica, Mo and Wiggo. There are no jobs for penguins in Hackney so I find one in Iceland on Kentish Town Road in the North London. It is very nice because it is always cold and there is plenty frozen fish. I take the shiny overground train to Gospel Oak every day because there are too many steps at Kentish Town. Steps are no a friend of the penguin. Lo siento, maybe this is boring if you no live in London. On the way to work I read my favourite book, Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov. Mi madre, she tell me “this novel is post-Soviet literary masterpiece.” Maybe she right, but me, I just like it because there is a penguin in it. In the UK there are so many penguins on books, but not so many in books. Anyway, one day I look up from my book and see this nice-looking shop called the Oddbins, so I go to have a look.

Inside the shop is being full of bottles, but I have big surprise and feel a little lost because none of them is mezcal. So I say “Hey hombres, where all the mezcal?” The nice men inside, Ian and Luigi, they welcome me in, they telling me that this is a wine shop and then they teaching me about the wine from many, many countries. Dios mío! There is a lot of choice but you know what? I think my favourite is the first one I ever had in that shop. You know what this wine is called? You won’t believe. It is called ‘One’. And it was my first one! OK I think you getting my little joke. Anyway, this lovely wine is from a place called the Ribero del Duero in España and, Ian say, is made from 100% Tempranillo and is 10 years old?! 10 years old and is no even gone bad?! Ian also say is even better now than it was. ¡Este vino esta bien chido wey! The taste is like so nice and rich and smooth, mi madre, I can’t tell you just how nice. You must try it my little chipotle.

Mexicans, we say “para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien también”, this means that for the bad times there is mezcal and also the same for the good times. From now on though I say “para todo mal, vino, y para todo bien también.” But I no think I have many bad times now I meet Ian, Luigi and Oddbins. (PP)

This post was written while drinking: Excellia Blanco Tequila. Now, I know I talking lots about mezcal, but Luigi, he recommend this tequila as substitute and I fall in love with it and with him. He tell me this tequila have a little sleep in sweet wine and cognac barrel and this make it so smooth. I like it most of all with chipotle shrimp. Those funny Oddbins people they have plenty dog picture in the window, I think they want me to eat the dog with the tequila, but we penguin no like eating the dog. They also say with they website that lovely tequila is just like Gael García Bernal, but I always preferring Diego Luna. What does a penguin know about such things?

[Just in case you missed it, this was Pepita's video - Ed]

[And this was the video with what Pepita so eloquently called "the sexy Valentine lady" - Ed]

2 thoughts on “¡HOLA!”

  • Jane Dixon
    Jane Dixon 9 Mar at 2:26 pm

    This post is off the scale! You guys are truly bonkers, how you stumbled on a mexican penguin,is beyond me, but I cant help feeling that there is something deeper I am missing here......... hopefully I am wrong or it becomes clearer soon. Fun read.