St. Patrick's Day

It’s St Paddy’s Day on Saturday! Where we can all ruin various delicious beverages by chucking a load of green food colouring in them. Our favourite is the river in Chicago that changes colour for a few hours; it’s reminiscent of when someone would micturate in a public swimming pool and an incriminating stream of green would lead straight back to the source. Was that real or was it a lifeguard conspiracy to keep us all docile and law-abiding? They were such squares; guarding our lives! We say, let’s march (but not run as it’s slippery) onto poolside, topple those ivory high chairs, give the swimming pools back to the people and dye them all green for St. Paddy’s Day! Woo revolution!

If you are celebrating St Patrick’s Day we have some wonderful Irish whiskies and gins that will go down an absolute treat, we must also ask you to not attempt to overthrow the management of your local swimming pool, they’re actually doing a fine job.